


Blame It All on a Weary Mind

by MinniMaster



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Unreliable Narrator, idk what else to put
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:14:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24876766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MinniMaster/pseuds/MinniMaster
Summary: Most people would rather not hear that their closest friend had just killed themselves. Kasumi Yoshizawa was one of these people.Or, Ren's "suicide" from Kasumi's perspective.
Relationships: Amamiya Ren & Yoshizawa Sumire | Yoshizawa Kasumi, Amamiya Ren/Yoshizawa Sumire | Yoshizawa Kasumi, Kurusu Akira & Yoshizawa Sumire | Yoshizawa Kasumi, Kurusu Akira/Yoshizawa Sumire | Yoshizawa Kasumi, Persona 5 Protagonist & Yoshizawa Sumire | Yoshizawa Kasumi, Persona 5 Protagonist/Yoshizawa Sumire | Yoshizawa Kasumi
Comments: 13
Kudos: 143





	Blame It All on a Weary Mind

**Author's Note:**

> I was kind of disappointed that we never got to see how Kasumi reacted to Joker's supposed suicide. After reading a ton of fics featuring these two and getting the urge to get back into writing, I decided to try my hand at portraying how that might've played out. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.
> 
> Also, this is the first story I've written in quite a while, so criticisms are more than welcome!

There are a number of things that one would rather not hear after an exhausting day.

Perhaps it’s a reminder that it was their turn to do the dishes, or that they had an extra assignment that they’d forgotten about. Things that, no matter how small or insignificant, would surely stack upon each other as they weighed down the tired person’s mind, amplifying their exhaustion even further.

As Kasumi Yoshizawa, honors student of Shujin Academy and talented gymnast, lay her weary head upon the walls of the train she was taking home after practice, she briefly closed her eyes to distract herself from her swirling thoughts. At that moment, her mind could very well be described as exhausted, and she did not want to hear anything that amplified it further.

A buzz from her pocket forced her eyes open as her hand darted for her phone.

_Ah, a text! Perhaps now..._

“Are you on your way home? It’s getting late. Please text me back once you get this,” the message read.

_Of course not._

Instantly, her swirling thoughts began anew. This was not, in fact, the text that Kasumi hoped she would see. It wasn’t because she held any disdain for her father, quite the opposite. It was because she had been waiting for Ren Amamiya, her senpai and only real friend, to contact her. Despite it only being a day since she last saw him, she couldn’t help but feel anxious considering the circumstances of their last encounter, one that she didn’t really expect to happen. She didn’t think she’d end up stalking him, following him into an otherworldly casino, fighting alongside him with a physical manifestation of her resolve, or fending off shadowy monstrosities as she helped him escape from armed guards. And yet, all of these things happened in that exact order the last time she saw him, and since then, she hadn’t heard a word from him. Not a single text or call, assuring her that he was okay.

_It’s fine, right?_

It was Senpai. He was okay, he’s invincible. She was sure he was just... tired. That was it. He was tired, just like her. Or even more so if he couldn’t even send a text!

Oh right, the text. Typing away at her phone, she sent a simple “Yes, I’m on my way” to her father as she assured him her safety.

_That’s all I really need, Senpai. Just a few words saying you’re okay._

As those thoughts crept their way into her head, she pocketed her phone and once again closed her eyes.

She couldn’t think like that. He was just tired. He was a Phantom Thief after all. Surely, he did these things all the time.

Kasumi felt strange, to say the least. This was the first time she felt so anxious in a while. Even when compared to the suspenseful moments while waiting for rankings during gymnastics competitions, the restlessness she felt at the moment rivaled her exhaustion as she desperately tried to stop thinking about him. Mercifully, her train came to a stop at her station, and she shot up to her feet as she walked out. Despite her muscles aching after her strict training, she pushed her body forward as she made her way home, hoping that she wouldn’t hear anything that amplified her exhaustion even further.

* * *

“I’m home,” Kasumi managed to force out as she let herself inside. Almost instantly, she heard a reply from her father’s office.

“Welcome back, Kasumi. Had a good day?”

She smiled slightly. “Yeah, just a bit tired. Where’s mom?”

“Cooking. I hope you’re in the mood for curry,” her father said after a brief pause.

Curry would be good. It was one of her favorite dishes, and her mother and sister always made it taste delicious. Satisfied with that, she made her way into her room and set away all of her things, her exhaustion somewhat lifting as she changed into more comfortable clothes. She lay on her bed, scrolling through her phone and trying to find ways to distract her mind from Ren. And yet, despite her best efforts, she still managed to find herself in her IM chat with him, debating with herself whether or not another message would make her seem weird.

One, two, three, four. She counted four messages since she saw him last. The first was sent immediately after she exited Sae’s Palace the previous day, the second as soon as she get home after that, and the third and fourth together during her training earlier.

“Senpai, I just got out of the Palace. Please message me as soon as you can!”

“I made it home. Are you alright?”

“Hello Senpai!”

“I’m almost done with training today. Contact me when you get the chance okay?”

She winced as she realized just how much she sounded like her father. Convincing herself that yes, another one would be weird, she was about to shut her phone off when she noticed something: all of her recent messages were read. The last time she checked, they weren’t. Her face lit up immediately.

This meant he was okay, right? It was just a matter of time before he messaged her back. Her eyes remained glued to her chat screen, eagerly waiting for a reply that she was sure was coming.

Ten seconds passed.

Thirty seconds passed.

Two minutes passed.

Nothing. Not even a notification that he was typing something. Was it an accident? A bug? Did he just... not care? Before the panic could fully set in, she heard her mother’s voice call out, signaling that dinner was ready and grounding herself back in reality.

_Breathe, Kasumi._

She was sure he was fine. She would go eat dinner, come back, and he’ll have messaged her saying that everything was okay. One deep breath later and she got up, a smile spread across her face as she made her way to the dinner table.

Dinner continued relatively quietly, with the only sounds being the steady clanging of silverware on plates as the Yoshizawa family tried finding different mundane topics to break the silence. For the most part, Kasumi’s participation in the conversation was limited. A simple “Yes” here and a nod there were the extent of her interactions, the bulk of her thoughts being reserved for how she would politely chastise her senpai for making her worry and how delicious the curry tasted. These thought continued for some time before the topic of the conversation abruptly seized her attention.

“Did you hear about what happened to those Phantom Thieves? Apparently, their leader was captured recently, and he ended up killing himself in custody,” her father said between mouthfuls of curry.

Her mother’s hand froze in midair, with her spoon inches away from her mouth. “Dear! Now isn’t the time for such a dreadful topic.”

“Ah, my apologies. Still, those Phantom Thieves really were something. They were all people could talk about—“

Whatever came after that, Kasumi did not register. The curry lost all of its taste, her mind instead focusing its efforts on processing what she just heard as her body tensed up.

_No._

The sharp clanging of silverware on plates continued.

_No._

Her parents’ conversation, now about an entirely different topic, continued.

_No._

The fresh tears that now streamed down her face continued.

Without realizing, her body began shaking. She dropped her utensils, her hands subconsciously moving to cover her mouth in order to mask her growing sobs. And still, despite all that, her mind yelled “No” in furious refusal. This was something that Kasumi did not want to hear after an exhausting day.

“Kasumi? Kasumi, what’s wrong?”

The utterance of her name, accompanied by a brief yet sharp pain in her head, grabbed her attention. She quickly wiped away her tears and forced down her sobs in a failed attempt to compose herself.

“It’s...” A whimper. “I-It’s nothing. I just... f-forgot something.”

Quickly, she rose to her feet, excusing herself from the table as she walked away. The worried calls from her parents did nothing to slow her down. With every step, the small amount of composure that she had managed to regain faltered, her sobs growing louder and her shaking quicker as she found herself in the bathroom. She locked the door behind her before dropping to the floor. It didn’t take long for her parents to follow her to the front of the bathroom, their worry increasing when they noticed her sobs rattling the door.

“Dear? Are you okay? Is something the matter?”

“It’s fine! Mom, dad, I’m fine!”

“If there’s something you need, just tell us okay?”

“I will!”

“We’ll be over here. Come back and finish your food when you’re ready.” They received no further reply, the previous ones coming from a louder voice than they were used to from their daughter.

Of course, she believed they were wrong. He was fine. They... must’ve been mistaken, that was it. Of course, that must’ve been it. It was someone else. It wasn’t her senpai. Her senpai wouldn’t have done that. He was invincible... right? Strong, reliable, invincible Senpai.

More shaking, more crying, more refusal. Her mind clashed with her heart, her seemingly composed thoughts disagreeing with the rapidly growing pain in her chest. One hand moved down from her mouth, clutching at where her heart would be with enough force to draw blood if it wasn’t for her shirt.

It would be some time until she stood up and walked out of the bathroom and to the dining table. Her parents were still there, their plates no longer in front of them as they looked at her with dark, worried eyes.

“Kasumi!”

The same sharp and brief pain.

“Your food’s still here. Is there anything you need?”

A slow shake of her head followed by a soft “No, it’s alright.” She moved towards her seat, red and puffy eyes directed at the ground. A spoonful of curry entered her mouth as she stared at nothing. Her parents stared at her expectantly, with a long period of silence passing before her father spoke up once more.

“Are you sure? Just remember that we’re always here in case—“

“I’m fine, dad,” she cut him off.

“O-Oh. Well, we’ll leave you be then. Call us if you need anything.”

With that, her parents stood up and walked towards their room, leaving their daughter alone with nothing but her fractured thoughts and the now tasteless curry to keep her company. Before long, her tears began flowing again, no longer needing to keep up a sturdy facade in front of her parents. A few minutes later, she picked up her emptied plate and took it to the sink, making her way back to her room as she dragged her feet across the floor. She yanked her phone from her bed and opened up her IM chat with her senpai, the same one that she convinced herself was alive and well. And yet, nothing new was there, the last message in the chat being the one she sent before dinner. There were no messages from her senpai, no confirmations of his safety, and no kind and calming words that she had come to expect from him.

_No!_

Her fingers flared to life, rapidly tapping away at her screen as fresh tears formed in her eyes.

“Senpai, you’re okay right?”

“You’re alive?”

“I want to know you’re alright”

Three new messages to add onto the four she had already sent. She waited to see if he would read them, and when a minute passed without him doing so, she called. Her breathing was heavy as she held her phone up to her ear.

_Ring. Ring. Ring._

Every ring that went unanswered brought forth more doubt into her mind. More cracks. More relentless, crushing fear that maybe he really was dead and gone.

“No...” she spoke through unsteady breaths. “Please... please pick up.”

Her call went unanswered, her phone dropped to the floor, and her hands once again moved to cover her mouth as she tried to mask her sobs from no one. Her thoughts began anew.

He was... gone? Why? Did she do it? Was it her fault? Maybe if she didn’t show up, he would’ve been fine right now.

Oh.

Oh god.

It was her. She killed him. He was gone because of her. Someone had to die because of her, again.

Her eyes widened.

Wait... again?

The pain in her head returned, stronger and longer. What did she mean, again?

_No! You can’t think like this, Kasu—_

The pain grew, enough to force her hand up to her head as her vision temporarily blurred. She couldn’t let herself think like this. Kasumi’s death wasn’t... wait, her death? What?

“Agh!” she yelped as the pain increased even more. She lay down on her bed, arms wrapped around her body as she tried to control her shaking. What was she thinking? Sumire died, not her. Perhaps it was the exhaustion playing tricks on her already unstable mind. Accepting that explanation, the pain in her head slowly resided. Before long however, her thoughts made their way back to her senpai.

She was tired of refusing. He was dead, and it was all because of her. Stupid, useless ~~Sumire~~ Kasumi. He died because she just had to step up and play hero. He would’ve been fine without her.

Without her.

“My weak self relied on you so much,” she recalled herself saying.

Right. To the point that it killed him.

“That ends today”? Who was she kidding?

A burden. That’s all she was to him. A burden that took his life.

Just like she was to Kasu—

The pain roared back into her head, her arms rushing to grasp at it as she tried fighting the urge to yell in response. Why was she thinking like this? Why was her own mind playing tricks on her? Why did she—

Ah. Of course. She remembered again.

She was exhausted.

Truly, crushingly exhausted.

And what she had heard today made her feel even worse.

Accepting her current state, she forced her eyes closed, what felt like hours passing before she drifted off into what would be a cold and restless sleep.

* * *

Kasumi rarely dragged her feet.

She was always energetic and bubbly, electing to jog or at least fast walk whenever she needed to get somewhere. Over the next few days, however, dragging her feet seemed to be the only way she could move. She realized that gymnastics was the only thing she was able to do well, so she demanded her body to spring to life whenever she had to train. For everything else however, she might as well have been an entirely different person. Dragging her feet, responding with little more than nods and head shakes, and staring at the ground wherever she walked.

She reminded herself of Sumire.

That was another thing. Every time she thought about her sister, her mind would scream at her for the shortest of moments, temporarily blurring her vision and causing her to wince. She thought she had accepted her death and moved on with her dream, but perhaps she was wrong. Maybe losing her senpai reawakened something in her. Maybe the pain, loss, and regret had finally caught up with her.

Of course, part of her still held on to the hope that he was alive, but she dared not try to contact him again in the fear that what little hope she had left in her would be snuffed out like a dying candle. Instead, she would regularly check her IM chat with him, waiting to see if he would read her most recent messages or send any of his own.

Needless to say, neither of these things happened.

Every time she checked back to see nothing, the urge to call him would rise. Over the course of four days she would try to resist it, telling herself that that call would decide his fate. Either he would pick up and everything would be fine, or he wouldn’t and Kasumi would once again lose her closest friend. Eventually, she would cave, the desire to know what happened to him winning out as she made her way to Inokashira Park after school. She found herself sitting on a bench, the very same one where she had truly met him for the first time, and breathed heavily for a few minutes.

Surprisingly, she managed to drown out the dark thoughts she had been having over the past days. She looked out into the lake, the setting sun reflecting beautifully onto its now orange surface. Huh. This park really had a positive effect on her, didn’t it? Whether or not that effect would remain positive depended on what happened next.

She called him.

And it rang. Again... and again... and again.

Desperation gripped her. She called once more, and of course, no one picked up. Before the third call could be made, she heard, or rather felt, a voice stir deep within her.

_Enough._

Cendrillon, her other self.

_The slipper will not fit today._

Even the embodiment of her resolve was disappointed in her now. Was she really so pitiful? Had the strong, brave, bold Kasumi Yoshizawa really been reduced to this?

“Agh!” she yelped. This blasted pain again. She really wasn’t in the mood for this right now. She picked up her things and walked away, gritting her teeth and trying to come to terms with the realization that he was gone. And yet...

_I’ll try again tomorrow._

She couldn’t.

* * *

Five days since she had learned of his death and one since she had practically confirmed it. Despite that, she still rushed out of her classroom as soon as school ended, determined to try calling him again. Practice wasn’t for a while that day, so she had time to go back to Inokashira Park for what she worried would become a daily ritual. Heading down the stairs and out the gate, she felt a hand tap her shoulder.

“Hey, Yoshizawa!”

She turned around to see a boy with a uniform that clearly didn’t follow dress code as well as wild blonde hair and a massive grin. It was Sakamoto-senpai. Wasn’t he Ren-senpai’s friend? Why was he so happy? She then realized that she had neglected to ask her senpai’s friends themselves about his supposed death. Before she could act upon her thoughts, Sakamoto continued.

“You free right now? Even if ya aren’t, you should really head over to Leblanc! We got a surprise for you that you just gotta see!” he half-yelled, his grin somehow growing wider. She still wasn’t sure why he was so happy.

“Okay, but Sakamoto-senpai... is it true that...” She lowered her voice. “That Ren-senpai’s dead?”

An even bigger grin made its way to his face. “Just go! Do ya know where it is?”

He was so happy. Could it be? Could the surprise really be what she was thinking? Hope had failed her before, but the positivity radiating from the boy in front of her was overwhelming. Maybe she could allow herself to hope, at least one more time. A deep breath left her as she put on a much more eager face.

“I can find my way there. Thank you, Sakamoto-senpai.”

“Hahaha, that’s the spirit! Now get outta here! The early bird catches the germs... or something like that!” The grin defied logic at this point.

She bowed and made her way to the station, curiosity burning within her as she wondered if her guess was right. Her hope remained cautious however. She was smart enough to know that that was the best kind of hope for her to have at the moment.

The ride to Yongen-Jaya was a tense one, to the point that Kasumi had chosen to remain standing despite finding an empty seat. As soon as she got off the train, her feet burst forward, filled with energy that had recently been reserved solely for gymnastics. One transfer later and she found herself in a secluded neighborhood filled with people simply trying to live their lives. The atmosphere was actually quite calming, but she had no time to appreciate it at the moment. She continued walking, almost missing the turn that led her down an alley and to the front of an exceedingly old-timey cafe. “Leblanc, Coffee and Curry” Kasumi mouthed as she stared at the store. Looking inside, she saw three figures all near the counter: an old man, an orange-haired girl, and...

_No way._

Wasting no more time, she pushed the door open and walked inside, her eyes instantly being drawn to the person in the back of the cafe.

She noticed the familiar head of frizzy black hair set on top of a kind, caring face. She noticed the glasses that covered his eyes, the same ones she knew from their conversations together were fake. She noticed the calm, relaxed posture that he held with his hands in his pockets, acting as if everything was alright.

And for the first time this week, she believed it.

The other people in the building exchanged some words with each other, but they didn’t matter at the moment. Kasumi rushed forward, stopping right in front of the boy that looked down at her with unreadable gray eyes, his smile emanating the same warmth that had kept her going for this past year.

“Senpai?” she said in a noticeably unsteady voice. “You... you’re not like a stunt double or something right?!”

“Relax haha... it’s the real me.” His voice was soft, almost inaudibly so, but she could still hear it loud and clear. She took notice of his hand exiting his pocket and rising to his hair, running through the twisty black locks as he slowly ruffled them. It was a mannerism that he always did when he was nervous or caught off-guard, and one that Kasumi found unexplainably cute.

She blinked once, then twice, then a third time. He was still there. No, she wanted to be absolutely sure. She raised her hands to her cheeks and gave them both two quick slaps, wincing a bit from the slight pain with her eyes shut tight. Her eyelids cracked open, and sure enough, he was still there.

His smile shifted to a smirk. “I can help with that,” he said, and before she could respond, his hand darted to her cheek, giving it a light pinch as he wiggled it a bit.

“Heeey, quit it!” Kasumi yelled out. She wanted to pout, but all she could do was giggle. “I don’t know what’s happening, but I really hope this isn’t a dream!”

A familiar voice spoke up from behind her. “Well, are you pleased? I’m the one who set this up. A little surprise from me to you. I asked Futaba to do me a favor...”

“... And I asked Ryuji to pass the message along to Kasumi,” the orange-haired girl continued, who she recognized from her previous stalking escapades.

“I knew you’d be wiped out for a while, so I made sure to give you time to recover first,” Morgana finished. She was close to chastising the black cat for making her worry so much, but she knew that there was probably a lot that she didn’t know.

What happened next was something Kasumi had wanted to do since the moment she walked into the cafe. She closed the distance between her and her senpai, wrapping her arms around him as she buried her face in his chest. Was it too forward of her? Perhaps, but the past few days of her life had been so dreadful that she wanted nothing more than to bask in the happiness that she felt at that moment.

“Oh, thank goodness... I’m just so happy,” she said in a voice that only Ren could hear. For the briefest of moments, she swore she felt him blush, taken aback by the sudden advance. The heat she felt in her cheeks told her she was doing the same.

For Ren’s part, his temporarily short-circuited brain had fixed itself, now presenting two options. The first was the one that he would normally pick: teasing her. He could say something along the lines of “I know you’re happy to see me, but wow” while putting on his best Joker act. The thought amused him as it always did, but the second option danced at the back of his mind, realizing that the girl in front of her must’ve been worried sick. He doused the smirk already making its way to his face and hugged her back as he placed his chin on her head. He wasn’t sure exactly what to say to put her at ease, but he settled on the first thing that came to mind.

“I’m here. I’m sorry for making you worry.”

If his goal was to comfort Kasumi, it wasn’t clear whether or not he succeeded. On one hand, the blush on her face intensified greatly as her heart pounded in her chest. His soft breath on her head, the rapid beating of his own heart on her face, and his rich, coffee-like scent in her nose. These all added up, setting her checks on fire. On the other hand, his voice, as quiet as it was, flew into her ears like a gentle breeze. His words were simple, but it was exactly what she wanted to hear. It was what she wanted to hear days ago. Knowing that he was alive, that he was okay, that everything about them would stay alright... it filled her with so much joy that the other inhabitants of Leblanc felt the entire building brighten.

Her heart was unsure itself, not knowing whether to thrash around intensely because of how close they were or slow down to a steady pace because of the assurance that she didn’t need to worry anymore. Somehow, it decided to do both.

“O-Oh. Well uh... it looks like you know what’s been going on with him. Take a seat why don’tcha? A-After you’re done with your little moment of course! I’m going out for a bit to grab some groceries, so I’ll let you all get caught up with each other,” Sojiro chuckled, making his way out of his cafe with a low “Hoo boy” that no one managed to catch.

The mention of a moment snapped Kasumi’s mind back to attention, releasing her senpai from her embrace as she stumbled backwards with an embarrassed look on her face. “I’m sorr—“ she began, but was immediately cut off.

“Don’t be. Let’s sit down and have a chat.” The pat that Ren placed on her shoulder didn’t go unnoticed, the red-haired and red-faced girl shrinking beneath his gaze. Breathing in and regaining some of her composure, she looked back up and nodded. The remaining inhabitants of Leblanc made their way to a booth and sat down.

The conversation consisted mostly of attempts to explain the strange situation to each other, with Kasumi being reluctant to divulge the secret that she had been stalking them out of worry. Unfortunately for her, Ren wasn’t about to let that slide.

“Hah! I didn’t know you had it in you. You managed to pull it off way better than Makoto at least.”

“Senpai, I said I was sorry!” A pout was clearly visible on her face.

“It’s fine! After all, you did manage to save me, didn’t you? I’m in your debt.”

_I... saved him?_

“Absolutely not! What I did was nothing compared to how much you’ve done for me in the past.” Kasumi lowered her head, pondering over what she was about to say next. A few seconds later, she looked back up with a determined face.

“Um... correct me if I’m wrong, but... you’re not done here yet, are you?”

“Not quite yet. There’s one more thing we need to wrap up.” Ren stared back, almost sure of what she was going to follow up with.

“Then perhaps I ought to lend you a hand.” There it was.

“Well, we could definitely use the additional firepower, but...” Morgana said, voice full of concern. The cat looked over to his partner, a blank and unreadable look on his face. He knew that when Ren got like this, he was deep in thought. “We’ll leave the decision to you, Joker. Come on Futaba, let’s head outside.”

“Gotcha! Don’t take too long you two!” Futaba said with a snicker and a wink, picking Morgana up and walking out of the cafe.

Kasumi waited patiently, eagerness never leaving her face. Ren placed his hand on his chin, staring off into nothing as he contemplated her proposal.

“Look, I appreciate the offer, I really do, but—“

“It’s too dangerous?” Her expression softened.

“... Yeah. The thing is, the guy we’re going up against this time is stronger than anyone we’ve faced before. We have no idea what he can do, and I don’t want to risk anyone’s life if I don’t have to.” Ren’s decision wasn’t an easy one to come to, but his voice remained firm and resolute.

Surprisingly enough, Kasumi did not feel as disappointed as she thought she would, instead nodding in acceptance and understanding.

_Right, I’m sure there are so many things going on with him that I have no idea about._

“I believe I’d be acting selfishly if I were to press any further. Very well, I understand your reasoning. If that’s the situation, then I’ll wait for your return.”

Ren smiled. “Thank you. That... that means a lot to me.”

_But still..._

“On one condition.”

“And that is?”

“You have to promise me that you’ll come back safe, no matter what. I don’t ever want to feel as horrible as I did when I thought you...” The thoughts crawled back, causing the pain to return and cut off her sentence. She winced and shut her eyes closed before shaking her head and steeling herself. As she looked back at him, she saw him with his mouth parted as if he was about to say something.

The last thing that Ren wanted to do was promise something that he was unsure of. No matter how confident he was as Joker or how strong he knew the Phantom Thieves were, Shido was someone he simply couldn’t underestimate. If he made this promise now and something terrible happened to him, he had no idea what it would do to the girl in front of him. Despite it being much simpler, the decision he was faced with now was even harder than the one he had made earlier.

Every silent second that passed without him answering her was heavier than the last. As always, his face remained unreadable, but Kasumi could somehow tell what he was thinking as they stared at each other.

_Can he not promise that? Is he... about to say that he might not come back to me?_

Eventually, the silence got to her, forcing her to speak up before her eyes threatened to tear up.

“Senpai? Please... promise me you’ll make it back.”

“I can’t.”

A brief and sharp pain, but this time in her chest rather than her mind.

“There are just too many things that—“

“Ren.”

The boy in question paused. She had never done that before.

“You have to promise me.”

The shakiness of her voice betrayed her piercing glare. She knew, deep down, that he wouldn’t be able to, but she wanted to hear the words from him anyway.

“I’m sorry,” Ren said, standing up and walking over to her side of the booth. As he sat down, he pulled her into another embrace. He wasn’t going to say it. He couldn’t. She knew why, but her heart ached at the idea of the worst possible thing happening. Would he leave her for real this time? Would his death no longer be a nightmare that corrected itself after a few days? Would the life of the person she cared about the most be snuffed away, just like Kasumi—

_No! Stop, stop, stop!_

The headache caused her to shut her eyes in pain, which Ren interpreted as her beginning to cry. In truth, he wasn’t entirely wrong, if the tears that had already made their way down her face were any indication.

 _Damn it, this girl will be the death of me,_ he thought to himself.

The crying was what pushed him over the edge. It was something he simply couldn’t take. If he was unable to promise her his safety because he wasn’t sure, then he’d just have to be sure. Tightening his grip around her, he whispered into her ear. “Alright, alright, you win... I promise.”

_Wait... really?_

The tears slowed down and the pain subsided. She looked up at him and sniffled.

“What do you promise?”

“That I’ll make it back safe. That I’ll make it back to you.”

She blushed.

“Really?”

“Really.”

Almost instantly, the pain completely vanished. She still understood that he didn’t know exactly what he was going up against, but simply hearing that he’d come back to her was enough to put her mind at ease. She raised her arms and returned the embrace, allowing the tears to stop flowing. Ren simply smiled, coming to the realization that the girl in his arms had him wrapped around her finger. He questioned himself as to what he wouldn’t do for her, and immediately regretted it as he couldn’t come up with anything.

Perhaps he had fallen for her.

A few minutes passed before they broke off from the embrace. Taking her phone out of her pocket and looking at the time, Kasumi's mouth shot open in surprise.

“Ah! It’s time I get going. I’ve got practice today, as usual.”

“Well, you better not be late. Come on, I’ll walk you to the station.”

“Oh, no it’s alright! I’d... hate to be a burden.”

“It’s fine, really. Please? I want to.”

She wasn’t sure whether or not she liked how skilled he was at making her blush. She probably did.

“I mean, when you put it like that, I suppose I have no choice! Let’s get going then, Senpai.” Ren looked at her, her cheerful giggle being immensely contagious.

Putting on that same smile that emanated so much warmth, he led her out of Leblanc and towards the station. Kasumi looked over to the boy at her side, blush refusing to die down as they continued their walk. Eventually, they reached their destination. Although hesitant to part ways, she turned around and bowed, her polite nature reinstating itself.

"I'll see you soon, Senpai. Please, don't forget our promise."

A light chuckle escaped the black-haired boy's lips. He swore he felt a sense of déjà vu. "I won't, don't worry. Now go on! Don't want your coach getting mad at me for keeping you all to myself."

She stepped onto the train, turning around to get one last look at his smile as the doors closed. Despite her heart thrashing around in her chest, she could finally let her mind relax for the first time in days. Breathing in and out, she came to a simple, calming realization.

She wasn't exhausted.

**Author's Note:**

> Again, if you have any questions or criticisms, feel free to voice them. 
> 
> While I enjoyed writing this, it was also a challenge to do justice to these characters. Characterization is something I highly value in these stories, so if you have any tips for how I can improve, I'd love to hear them. Kasumi ended up becoming one of my favorite characters in the cast, so I might write something else with her if I can think of a suitable premise. Thanks for reading!


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